some day you will die, but I'll be close behind

i don't think i could do this without you. if it wasn't for you,

i probably wouldn't be here anymore. you keep me sane, you 

make me realise that life is worth living, maybe just because of you,

maybe because of the first rays of sunlight in the morning, maybe because

of the first raindrop that touches my face before, or the last raindrop falling 

down from a leaf after a thunderstorm. maybe it's worth living because of the

voyage to france or italy, the road trip across the country, or the five-minute walk

to my friends house. maybe my life is worth living because of my sore stomach

after laughing for half an hour, maybe it is because of that feeling of fulfillment that

i get when i hit the right notes on the piano, the way all tones come together and 

create something so complete, so beautiful that they bring tears of joy to my eyes. 

or maybe life is just worth living because of every time that i look at you, 

see the contours of your face and the way you smile and throw your head 

back when you laugh, the way you raise your eyebrow when i say something 

weird, or the way your eyes brighten when you have one of your great ideas. 

you made me realise that life is worth living. you showed me so many things,

things that i will never forget, things that have made me happy, that made me smile.

songs, shows, places i had never been to before, the passion for drawing, sushi,

tea, patience. all those things that will always remind me of you. you have left so 

many traces on my heart, my mind, my soul, that i will never forget you. you will

always be the one who showed me life, showed me how to live. and even though

i will never have you like i wish i could... i will never lose hope, that maybe, one night,

when i wake up at 3am, unable to sleep, i will look next to me, and you will be there.

sleeping peacefully beside me, and suddenly, the world won't seem so lonely anymore.